Divorce During Valentine’s Day

By Mara Linder, J.D.

Valentine’s Day typically is about focusing on the love in your life.  However, this does not have to be limited to just the love of a spouse or romantic partner.  What about the love that surrounds you from your family, friends, children, pets and from yourself?  Celebrating these loving relationships can be especially important and helpful if you and your spouse are in the process of separating or divorcing.

If you are in the middle of a divorce or separation during Valentine’s Day, there are many things you can do to still celebrate the love in your life.  Here are just a few thoughts:

  • Treat yourself – Remember to show yourself a little love by doing something nice for yourself whether it’s buying your own chocolate heart, going to that movie you’ve been wanting to see or just hanging out with people who make you feel good and live in the moment
  • Give to others – Often one of the best ways to feel loved is to give love yourself.  This can involve doing some volunteer work.  Many charities are inundated with volunteers during Thanksgiving and Christmas, but not during the rest of the year.  Maybe help make Valentine’s hearts at a children’s hospital or bring red and pink balloons to a senior center.
  • Celebrate with your kids – If you have kids, share the holiday doing fun love-themed crafts or cooking.  Focus on showing them that they will always be your special valentines.
  • Throw a party-There are probably others who would really appreciate having somewhere to spend Valentine’s Day without being surrounded by smooching couples.
  • Honor the significance (and love) of your relationship with your ex by embracing a healthy divorce.  There are ways to approach the divorce process in a cooperative, more positive manner.  Consider using Collaborative Divorce instead of litigation.

Having a positive approach to Valentine’s Day as well as the many other holidays and milestones you will experience, can really help with managing how you feel while experiencing a divorce.  Similarly, utilizing a more positive divorce process, such as Collaborative Divorce, can really help to minimize the stress, anxiety, and uncertainty divorce often brings.  Collaborative Divorce focuses on you and your family and   can assist you in staying focused on surrounding yourself with the love that is still in your life and the love that the future may bring.  Happy Valentine’s Day!

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